I grow under the load

I feel like I am training for a marathon.  I did this 15 years ago after completing a half marathon.  Training for these events required hours of running which I was willing to give during the wee hours of the morning so as not to take me from my time with my children.

2 Timothy 3:16-17 says, “All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work.

This is where my training is now taking place during the wee hours of the morning…in God’s Word!  I love that God’s training for me is purposeful, intentional, and for my good and His glory in the end.

I have another brain tumor.

As I was drawing near to my 5 year mark since the first tumor was found, (Brain Tumor 2014) I was surprised when the MRI revealed a new mass growing.

Let me be frank – I LOVE JESUS CHRIST! He is my everything and nothing in this life compares to the love I have for Him and the life I have in Him. That said, I know that He is with me and is intimately acquainted with all my ways (Psalm 139).

Everything, especially the unexpected, difficult, and trying circumstances, comes into our lives with a  purpose.  Job endured many trials and losses, but confidently spoke of Him during his suffering, “The LORD gave, and the LORD has taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD.” (Job 1:21) At the end of all his struggles, he declared to the LORD, “I know that you can do all things, and that no purpose of yours can be thwarted.” (42:2)

Joseph (Genesis 37-46) encountered countless difficulties, but “the Lord was with Joseph” (Gen. 39:21) and God’s purpose was accomplished, “As for you (brothers), you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today.” (Gen. 50:20) 

As I have options with this tumor (18mm) that I did not have with the last one, I am trusting God’s leading for me to approach it nutritionally (natural medicine) for the next 4 months.  To supply my body with what it is lacking (Vit. D, B12, sodium, magnesium) 59006239282__6DACE9BD-09B5-41A7-8E0D-111227CCEE4A

and remove from my diet what is weakening me (inflammation, yeast, bacteria, gluten). The doctor’s office is 25 steps directly behind the boatIMG_7346

as we are docked in Palm Beach Gardens, FL.


In December I will get another MRI to determine if it is still growing.

And Jesus said to all, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.” Luke 9:23

There are many crosses, and every one of them is sore and heavy. None of them is likely to be sought out by me of my own accord. But never is Jesus so near me as when I lift my cross, and lay it submissively on my shoulder, and give it the welcome of a patient and unmurmuring spirit.

He draws close, to ripen my wisdom, to deepen my peace, to increase my courage, to augment my power to be of use to others, through the very experience which is so grievous and distressing, and then–as I read on the seal of one of those Scottish Covenanters whom Claverhouse imprisoned on the lonely Bass, with the sea surging and sobbing round–I grow under the load.–Alexander Smellie  (1857-1923) (Hour of Silence

–the body cannot be happy if the soul is miserable in the other world, but the soul may be happy though the body be greatly afflicted and oppressed in this world– Matthew Henry commentary on Luke 9:23

                                  “I have one passion, and it is Jesus, Jesus only!”                                         Zinzendorf

Only Jesus – Casting Crowns


26 Comments Add yours

  1. Boo Hauck says:

    Thanks for sharing. You are an amazing woman and I love hearing how God is using you for His glory. It sounds like He led you to your “new” location for a reason. Praying for you and your family.

    1. smiley8kids says:

      Thank you, Boo! I love how He leads even when we can’t see it at the time! His ways are perfect! 🙂

  2. Linda Harris says:

    Tracy, I’m so sorry to hear this. I still have mine it’s slowly shrinking, but I’m also a stage 2 breast cancer survivor . It’s been a while since we talked.
    Is your tumor in the same area ?

    1. smiley8kids says:

      Same side of brain, but new area…more anterior. Not as big, but growing 3mm/4months. His will be done! Blessings to you friend! 🙂

  3. Terri Thomas says:

    Sending love and hugs and trusting with you in the Sovereignty of our Lord Jesus Christ. Prayers too, friend. ❤

    1. smiley8kids says:

      The best place to be! Thanks Terri! 🙂

  4. Ginger says:

    What a sweet gift that your Doctor is in your back yard!:) But, we will pray this does not grow!! Much love from Nashville

    1. smiley8kids says:

      Thank you, Ginger! 🙂

  5. Margie McNair says:

    Praying for your health and healing.

  6. Tammie says:

    I sure miss your SWEET smile. You ALWAYS encourage me. We love you & your sweet family. I’m praying for you❤️

    1. smiley8kids says:

      Thank you, Tammie! 🙂

  7. Beverly Carroll says:

    Tracy…. Mike and I are adding you,to our prayer list both at church and our home listings. Thanks for posting another article about your journey. I still think of you all now and then! Bev Carroll

    1. smiley8kids says:

      Thank you, Bev! 🙂

  8. Cynthia Kaye says:

    Tracy! I just read your post. I will join with your prayers of restoration and healing!! You are such a Rock in the Faith. I believe God has many more awesome years ahead for you and your family! You are a great testimony. Love ❤️ you my dear friend.

    Cynthia B. Kaye, CEO Chief Zoo Keeper Alive Studios | Engaging Students with Augmented Reality O :: (678) 404.7473 | F :: (678) 248.9030 alivestudiosco.com


    1. smiley8kids says:

      Thanks, Cynthia! 🙂

  9. Erin says:

    Thank you for sharing your faith and your cross. May you truly grow under the load and may it be Gods will got you to have healing again. 🙏🏻

    1. smiley8kids says:

      Thank you, Erin! 🙂

  10. Michelle Toman says:

    Hi Old Neighbor! I am very sorry to hear this news. Many thoughts and prayers to you. XO

    1. smiley8kids says:

      Thanks sweet friend! 🙂

  11. Cathy Shelton says:

    Oh, Tracy, we will pray for you!

    1. smiley8kids says:

      Thank you, Cathy! “I know that You (HE) can do all things, and that no purpose of Yours can be thwarted!!” Job 42:2

  12. Robin Dillard says:

    Praying for you, friend. You are in the best place in all the world…at the center of His will! Keep writing—it inspires me and your testimony is gold!

  13. smiley8kids says:

    Blessings to you, Robin!! Thank you for your prayers! 🙂

  14. Al Couch says:

    Got the link and am praying for you.

    1. smiley8kids says:

      Thanks, Papa Al! ❤

  15. Cheryl says:

    Love you, praying for you, thankful for you. It was a short season we had at Covenant, but I treasure getting to know you, Tracy. You are one very special child of God and we know through this difficult time that you will grow closer to Him.
    Love you, my eternal sister,

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